Don’t know if you’ve seen these before but some are pretty funny
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and
Are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm
while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Posted in 
competant luvs. I’m starting to have my doubts………
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the Bar Exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh… he’s twenty.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…. I was gettin’ laid!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh…are you qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
And the best for last…
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar!
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
What a shock that this didn’t post luvs!
i am not a fan of anna, but still, her son was originally the sole beneficiary of her will, with him dead, then it goes to her daughter. the attorney is smart and probably has many contacts. there are many ways to kill someone without leaving evidence or suspicion. maybe anna was in the process of changing her mind regarding the attorney. how depressed she was, trying to make things right. he stood all gain from her death as well. why won’t he volunteer a DNA sample unless he suspects himself? whether he is the father or not, i still believe this guy looks guilty as hell…..i feel so badly for the baby-she needs to be cared by someone that can be trusted, and not babysitters either. maybe i watch too much CSI shows, but i think the possibilty needs to be looked into despite her drug use, reputation and lifestyle. i think that a DNA test to prove who is the father or not should be mandatory and not left to be battled out for possibly years and tons of money. expidite it!
well, when junkies die from their addiction, it is obvious in the autopsy!
it takes all kinds of characters. but gold-digging is what most women do whether they look like it or not, no different than a man who all cares about sex. i am not condoning her life, i agree she was all messed up, but most men would agree that that old man she was married to, died with a smile on his face. she might have gotten what she wanted, and he did too!
we all have to accept our children no matter how many mistakes they choose to make. kinda late for anna’s mom to step in now.
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I’m a volunteer for my local teen court, and recently I (along with a friend) volunteered to be a prosecuting attorney. I’m wanting to know any cause for striking a member of the potential jury panel. I’ve looked on the internet and I can’t find anything. Can you help please?
(Note: If I placed the question in the wrong category, I’m sorry. I couldn’t find anywhere else to put it.)
I have volunteered for several organizations in the past, including one for a District Attorney’s office in my home town. However, this particular volunteer position lasted about one month and was about 5 years ago. I doubt that anyone in the office remembers me and I am fairly certain that they would be unable to verify that I volunteered there. However, I am trying to get a law-related job and I think this experience is useful and relevant. I developed a lot of skills volunteering there and my interest in law stems from that experience. Is it appropriate to list this work on my resume? Will potential employers attempt to verify this type of volunteer work that took place about 5 years ago?
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We are looking for and attorney who can take on a big hospital. they are at fault for medical negligence and malpractice.
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I don’t have college degree. I attended out of high school for approx. 1.5 years. I sold cakes out of my home when I met husband. He set me up in a legitamate bakery. I never earned a paycheck in the bakery and it closed after 1.5 years. I sold insurance part time at age 18. I never earned more than ,000 in any year and have not worked since I was 26. I am now 37 with 2 elementary children who require a great deal of time due to allergies and complex learning needs. I volunteered lots of time to the school the year before husband and I seperated.
Husband is being very tough. This current matter revolves around a scheduled support hearing. We own a 1.5 million dollar home and have lived well. He is claiming he has not had an income since 2004. My attorney is good, so is hubby’s.
Do you know of any resources I can investigate in addition to your answer? Of course I will consult my attorney, however, his hourly rate is high so I prefer to do my own homework. Thanks
I am looking for a top notch lawyer to handle a medical malpractice ccase
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I would say Millionaire thieving bought and paid for career attorney member of Congress (Senators & Representatives – Democrats & Republicans) who have represented special interest/lobbyists as opposed to representing their constituencies for decades.
All politician jobs at Federal, State, and Local level need to be volunteer jobs with any donations being illegal – this of course will never happen as the foxes control the hen house.